Friday, April 18, 2014

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Competitive Eating "Gang" Reportedly in Formation

Rumors are swirling over reports that Tim Janus is forming a competitive eating "gang" to be known on the street as "House of Pain." Sources say that House of Pain will include Tim Janus, Pat Bertoletti, Bob Shoudt and other yet to be revealed eaters.

The focus of the gang seems to be intimidation, drawing comparisons to prison gangs who implement a reign of terror on fellow inmates. House of Pain allegedly hopes to cause anxiety among other eaters, thereby reducing their ability to focus on the eating contest.

Some wags suggested that Bob Shoudt is anything but intimidating, especially in his Monk/Jedi Knight garb. Tim Janus has the potential to be scary, but only because he appears to be mentally unbalanced.

The IFOCE would not comment directly on these rumors, but Chairman George Shea did say that no coercion would be tolerated on the circuit. Shea said that if violence or threatening acts seemed imminent he would personally intervene by calling in IFOCE Commissioner Charles Hardy.

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